SOURTOE

Came Capt. Dick to Dawson Town
From a small New Brunswick Town.
A captain's cap was on his head.
A "River Rat" am I he said.

He had run the mighty Houtilinque.
Also tried the rapids called the Rink,
And bragged all over Dawson Town
To be a river man of great renown.

Now Capt. Fields and Skipper Farr
Were sitting in the Eldorado bar.
There were Skipper Mendlesohn and Capt. Blanchard.
Said Skipper Farr, "We'll test that braggard."

"He may've run some famous rivers,
But never skippered Yukon paddle-wheelers."
Says Capt. Fields, "I have a thought:
We'll give that "River Rat" the name he sought.

"I know a prospector who lost his toe:
Froze it in the deadly cold and snow
He ran rum with a fast dog team
(From the Yukon to Alaska it would seem).

"Deadly Gangrene soon set in.
He cut it off, his life to win.
To remember the gruesome task he'd done,
He pickled it in a jar of o.p. rum!"

"Now I can get that gruesome toe
and fix a drink called the 'Sourtoe.'
We'll convince that bragging 'River Rat'
All Yukon captains have a drink like that."

Bartender Pete agreed to fix the awesome drink.
"To see if Capt. Dick's the man he seems to think."
To be a real Yukon captain, each claimed was so;
One had to drink a Yukon Sourtoe.

The Eldorado was to be the spot,
And Capt. Dick was called for the horrid plot.
The fearsome thing was in a darkened jar,
As Bartender Pete slapped it on the bar.

As he pulled it out with silver tong,
A gasp went up from the gathered throng.
The very sight of the horrid thing
Was enough to shock the gathered ring.

A jagged nail, a ghastly yellow streaked with green,
The vile thing glistened with a sickly sheen.
Then Dick turned pale and seemed to shrink
When the loathsome thing splashed in his drink.

As he grasped the frosted glass with shaking hand,
A mighty hush fell over the gathered band.
The glass he raisd to quaking lip
And with a shudder took a mighty sip.

He gagged, then with a gasp and frown,
He tilted back the glass and drank it down.
A mighty roar went up from the rest.
"Capt. River Rat can navigate with the best."

He turned a sickly shade of green
As he turned to leave the scene.
He was heard to say as he bolted for the door,
"Upon the Yukon River I must take a tour!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SOURTOE CERTIFICATE

In recognition that _________________ in the presence of witnesses, drank an authentic Sourtoe Cocktail, thereby following in the wayward (even staggering) footsteps of Capt River Rat, has proven to be a person capable of almost anything, and is therefore fully entitled to bear this certificate with such rights & privileges as may at any drunken moment be decided upon. In witness whereof I have hereunto set my hand (or my seal, or made my mark, or whatever I was capable of at the time).

Signed: ___________________
Capt. Dick
"Capt. River Rat"
Yukon River Tours